"Pete: can I ask you something?"

"Pete: can I ask you something?"
"Course you can Pumpkin." I mean; lets face it, we were lying next to each other in the dark, stark naked, she couldn't see my face and we weren't even touching - how threatening could that be?
"What do you need to turn you on?"
Damn it if she doesn't start with a trick question! Still, might as well tell the truth.
"It can be anything really. Sometimes I think about it at work and come home gagging for it. Sometimes you're just bending over and I come over all randy. When we're on holiday and we're by the pool or on the beach, I can't wait to get back to the hotel. Even when we're out with friends and having a great time at opposite ends of the room, I can't wait to get you home. Trouble is, over the last ten years.... Anyway, how about you?"
"S'funny how different men and women are. Like you, all those times and more I've thought about it, but before anything happens for me in the desire department, I've got to feel good about me and I've got to feel good about us. If I'm not feeling good about me, I can't allow myself to enjoy things and if I'm not feeling loved by you at the time, I can't even get started. The last ten years have been hell: when I haven't had physical things to contend with, I've been fighting a running battle with what I've come to realise has been depression. That's why I want tonight to be so good for both of us - I really feel as if I've been set free after ten years of solitary confinement."
That really stopped me in my tracks. How many times had I thought that the gap between us was too wide for us to ever get back to where we used to be?
"So where do we go from here Pumpkin?"
"W e l l, you know you said I could go first a few minutes ago...."
"Ummm"
"Can I tell you what I sometimes dream about when I'm lying awake afterwards, sometimes?"
"Ummm"
"I feel a bit embarrassed about this, but, but....... could you touch me, sometimes, like, like I like to touch myself?"
This was hard. Whilst it would be great to be the fantastic lover that I always thought I was, it would also kind of be an admission of failure and our lack of a sex life all my fault. Reply time running out: tough call. "Ummm."
She hadn't finished yet.
"W e l l, I would love it if you could could just spin it out a bit longer. I love it when we've got plenty of time and the moods right. Call me an old romantic.."
So I did...
"Call me an old romantic....."
"You're a double old romantic;" and we both dissolved into laughter that reduced the tension that was building up and brought us back together again.
"Shall I tell you what I reely reeeely like when you do it?"
"Go on then"
"I love it when you just rub me all over with the palm of your hand with enough pressure not to tickle but just enough to speak to me through the power of touch; as if you were telling me how much you love me. And kiss me and stroke my hair and tell me how happy I make you. And all this time you've not gone anywhere near my naughty bits and I'm getting wet just thinking about it and the tension is building to an almost unbearable level. And then, when I'm almost ready to beg you, you almost absent mindedly do an ever so gentle circuit round the 'clock with no hands'. The relief is only temporary though because now I'm on a different level and my needs have changed. Now my whole body is alive and focused through those two areas. It's bliss when you gently tease my nipple with your tongue and gently, so gently give a little suckling pressure as your hand moves slowly down over my love mound without stopping at the station! My whole body is saying stop right there, but you continue down my leg until you run out of arm. Then you hand swivels over the top of my leg to my inner thigh. I sometimes have an orgasm right then. Now I'm on the top of the world. I'm no longer in the room; there's only you and me in the universe. It's the most exquisite teasing; it's almost painful. The tension as you move towards the signal box at the end of the station becomes unbearable until with a feather-light touch you skip round the box and I feel the electric shock from the tip of my toes to the top of my head. Then you swivel your hand so that your thumb still rests on my signal box whilst your finger enters the tunnel and finds my hot spot just inside on the back wall...... The signal box wants that train in the tunnel immediately. The more the train and it's carriages pass the hot spot, the bigger the pleasure boulder becomes, until finally, it is hurled into the once limpid pool with a massive splash succeeded by multiple waves of pleasure that go on for minutes afterwards. Then, as I return to planet earth, my happiness is made complete if you just hold me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear while stroking my hair."
"Bloody hell."
I was gob-smacked. I didn't realise I was that good and there were one or two things there that unbeknownst to Ann, I would be adding to my stunning repertoire in future. In the next half-hour in fact!
"As this is our first time since the operation Pete, would you mind if I went on top?"

You don't seriously think I'm going to tell you any more before Granny Moira phoned do you?