"Do something different"

"Right then Pete, I know you don't want to do this by the look on your face, but you've just admitted that you also think that we've become a bit rigid and unexciting in our relationship as well, and you also think there's so much more to the 'us' than we're enjoying at the moment."
"I still think we're managing pretty well as we are."
"I absolutely agree. It's a miracle we're still together after everything we've been through these last ten years. We've both had it tough and I don't think there's a man on this planet whose tried harder than you. I think you're wonderful."
I was beginning to like the sound of this. Keep it coming!
"I have to admit Pumpkin, you've had to put up with almost as much as me and I think you're pretty terrific too."
"So do you want to know what I've thought about whilst I've been getting over the operation?"
"OK Pumpkin; hit me.
"W e l l; firstly I thought it would be good to spend some time every week away from the house, just you and me where we can just talk about all sorts of things that have come up for both of us during the week as a sort of a reflection on events that we've felt strongly about. For example, if we've had an argument, what else was going on at the time that made us so upset that we've gone on to spoil our evening over a trivial matter that we'd have normally sorted out easily and without any confrontation."
That didn't sound too threatening - I'd often wondered why something minor had sometimes been blown up out of all proportion. Anyway, Sundays could be a bit boring.
"Nice one Pumpkin, that sounds a brilliant idea; I'll go for that." While she was looking down at her piece of paper, I stole a glance at the clock. Two minutes till telly on.
"Is that it?"
There was a sudden flash of real anger in her eyes so I thought I'd better ask.
"What?"
"Pete. You'd better start taking this seriously. We're talking about the future of our marriage here and if you're saying that the bloody telly is more important than that, then I'm beginning to wonder if it's got any future at all!"
Shit; that woman must have eyes in her arse - I was sure she wasn't looking. Better cool it Pete.
"Sorry Pumpkin; I genuinely thought that you'd finished. That idea was brilliant - have you got any more?"
After a few seconds of a Paddington Bear Hard Stare, the axe murderess who'd briefly inhabited her body had gone and we were back in business.
"Sometimes Pete, I feel as if I'm just a part of the furniture. You never notice anything I've done, barely acknowledge me when you come in, don't even comment on my hair when I've had it done unless I specifically ask you and even then you say 'Very nice' without taking your eyes off the telly. I know I do the same with you - like when you've spent all day working on the car; so it's not just you. So my next wish is that we both make the effort to notice each other more and when the other does any act of kindness or consideration, we make a point of expressing our appreciation there and then."
'That was nice' I thought to myself, it's not just me then, and heard myself telling her to keep going - she's on a roll. This wasn't turning out to be the antiPete tirade I thought it was going to be. She actually smiled at me then!
"Only two more to go Pete."
"No Pumpkin, I think you've done a brilliant job. You've put a lot of work into this and I think it'll make things much better between us. Gimme more."
It was alright; I'd seen the game before and it was only the edited highlights.
"OK, thank-you Pete. This one's about doing something different every day that's unexpected by the other person. Could be anything; like you coming in the back door instead of the front when you come home or bringing me some flowers occasionally. Or me getting you something to eat that only you like, or getting you something from the supporters shop. Anything really just to show the other person that you're thinking about them even when they're away from you. Just that breaking with routine that requires conscious thought. Then, when we go out for our special time together each week, both of us will show that we've done the noticing bit by showing that we can recall those different events. I think that after a couple of weeks it will make quite a difference to our appreciation of each other and won't seem so contrived anymore."
"Blood and sand Pumpkin, you've put some work into this. What's the last one?"
"Well really it's an extension of the previous one. It's all about valuing and respecting each other. We've got to do something every day with the specific intention of making the other person happier. Could be as simple as a hug when I'm upset or bringing out a cup of coffee and some biscuits when you're working on the car. It doesn't matter what it is as long as the sole objective of the deed is to increase the other person's happiness. And that's about it really Pete; what do you think; can we give it a try and see if it makes a difference at the end of a couple of weeks?"
"Yeh, OK, lets give it a whirl. Want a cup of tea?"
"Oh yes please Pete; that'd be lovely.
"Great. I'm one ahead already!"

Must admit though, I'm quite looking forward to it - It'll break the monotony and could be a lotta laughs. Let you know how it's going next weekend.